Ben Wallace injures knee just in time for West coast trip.

Ben Wallace is known as the “Picasso of the Paint.” He rebounds and blocks shots with the best in the NBA. Due to the nature of his game, injuries are a common occurrence. This one came at an oddly convenient time.

“We’re going on our West Coast trip,” said Wallace. “And I couldn’t be more excited.”

Those thinking that Wallace will be spending time on one of the many California beaches nursing his injured knee, think again. He has entirely different plans.

“I plan on hanging out at the United Center,” Wallace said. “The Disney on Ice Princess Wishes are in town. I can’t wait.”

Wallace has attempted to keep his love of ice skating a secret in the locker room. The secret was out, however, when Bulls guard Kirk Hinrich went looking for some deodorant.

“He said I could borrow some. I wish I hadn’t asked,” remarked Hinrich. “I found the deodorant, but I also found a pair of ice skates, as well as pictures of Michelle Kwan, Kristi Yamaguchi, and Oksana Baul, the jewel of Russia.”

“Big Ben kicks it old school,” added Bulls forward Michael Sweetney. “I also dig Nancy Kerrigan. Bitch took a crowbar to the leg and still won silver. Represent.”

Wallace’s teammates were understanding of his love for ice skating. What they didn’t realize was how deep his commitment went.

“He kept asking about the ice capades and how many times a year they came to the United Center,” recalled Bulls general manager John Paxton. “But I had no clue it was because he loved the sport so much.”

Wallace commented on how much of a selling point that was when making his decision during free agency last year.

“I got offers from many teams, some that are contending for the championship in the West,” said Wallace. “But Chicago was the place for me. Not only do I love the city, but the ice capades come at least twice a year. I can deal with not having year round beaches for a little capades action.”

Wallace’s teammates don’t mind the obsession, as long as they are not involved. Many teammates became uncomfortable when he was asking if anyone wanted to join him for some skating practice.

“I thought he was asking me out,” a visibly shaken Ben Gordon recalled. “I revel in the grace of the skaters, but I’m not about to get out there with him. That’s kind of romantic. He should just be content to watch.”

And Wallace will be. With his injured knee, Wallace will remain behind in Chicago for the two week road trip. He has tickets to 10 of the shows.

“I get to study a new starting five – the Disney Princess’,” Wallace exclaimed. “They’re all gonna be there. Ariel, Snow White, Cinderella, Belle, Princess Jasmine, the chick that sleeps a lot, and the Asian girl. I can’t wait. I’ve got a thing for Jasmine.”